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Streets of Rage


  • Evilbob's Daily Reviews: Streets of Rage

    I'm going to do something a bit different this time, instead of reviewing one game I'm going to review the whole cock slapping series. The Streets of Rage games were released on the Genesis as a kind of competition to the Final Fight series on the SNES. They've since been re-released about 300 times, on Virtual Console, compilation disks, etc. Are these games good, or do they suck ass? Well, read on nancy boy.

    The first Streets of Rage game was released in 1991 apparently, and was a pretty good looking game for the time. It really did what nintendon't, which is have a black guy as a hero. Back then you only beat up black guys, so kudos to Sega for breaking new ground. There was also a white guy and girl, if you're racist. Asshole.

    Streets of Rage is about a group of cops or something who are out to stop the evil Mr X. X is trying to take over the world or something, I don't know. He's evil though. All three Streets of Rage games have the same plot so don't expect me to discuss it again. I don't get paid by the hour here. The music is really good, and the graphics as mentioned are nice. There's a wide variety of locations, such as the disco streets and the hip hop forest.

    One cool feature is the special move. Instead of doing some flippity do kick, you have a cop shoot a rocket and blow the shit out of everything. Even if you're on an elevator 300 feet in the air or on a boat, the cop can still help you out. The control is pretty stiff but it still plays well. It isn't too hard a game, except for those two bitches you fight on the boat and then in the hallway at the end of the game. It's a pretty cool game overall.


    Here we go. Streets of Rage 2 is one of my favorite beat em ups and definitely the best SoR game. They improved everything - better music, graphics, control, levels, enemies, midget black kids, etc. Also there's fat people you can beat up. Fucking fat people, eating all the food.

    Streets of Rage 2 has the Ultimate Warrior as a boss, which makes it worth the price of admission alone. Seriously though this game is what a sequel should be, it improved on the original in every way. Though they did take out the cop and his rocket launcher, but I don't think the black kid is in law enforcement anyway. I'm not going to waste time, this game is awesome and you should play it. Now.


    Well here's the third game in the series, and boy did they fuck it up. It's so generic compared to the second game, like they ran out of ideas and just made a basic beat em up with basic locations. Oooh a warehouse, exciting. There are a couple decent locations, but it doesn't matter, this game sucks.

    Yes that's a kangaroo, in front of the same disco buildings from the first two games. If you kill the clown with him, you can play as the kangaroo. That's honestly the stupidest sentence I've ever typed. The worst part of this game is the difficulty. I don't mind a challenge, but they gave everyone a ridiculous amount of life. It takes half an hour to beat the first two levels because even the most basic thugs have 3 life bars. Some of the bosses are almost impossible because they just have too much life. Combine that with some of the worst hit detection I've ever seen in a game and SoR 3 just sucks.

    This AIDS bag is in the japanese version of the game. And yet surprisingly, the japanese game is a million times better. Known as Bare Knuckle 3 in Japan, the enemies have much more reasonable life bars and you do more damage as well. The game is still challenging, but it's more of a fair challenge rather than being hard because everyone takes 3 days to kill. If you're going to play a Streets of Rage game, play the second one. If you have to play the third game for some reason, play the japanese version. A lot of text is in japanese, but it's still very easy to play.

    1/10 (American)
    7/10 (Japan)
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