Broke Ass Preview: Kirby's Epic Yarn

So far I’m pretty sure the only point of this game is to collect furniture for your house. The game is essentially a simulator for going to IKEA. Each level you wander around very stylish areas looking for the only things not made out of yarn: furniture and other house decorations. This game is defiantly targeted at kids, you can’t die, the only thing that makes it at all challenging, just like IKEA, is the layout and finding the furniture, which is optional you can just clear the level...

There’s been no shortage of shitty games since I last had time to write a preview, but I can tell you this is not one of them. This Sonic done right, remember that abomination Sonic Unleashed? Fuck that game. They took the lock-on mid air dash from it and put it into Sonic 2, updated all the graphics, and added a few new features (watch the video at 1:45). The controls are perfect, 1 button does everything. There’s also an online leaderboard of the fastest clear times and by looking at it I dis...

Sorry for I missed a few weeks, I was dead thanks for caring assholes. Anyway there's a whole slew of new turds to smell this week. Gold turds, Japanese turds, Klingon turds, gay biker turds, Goose turds, and my favorite, fat titty turds.

15 Aug 2010

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My previews are clearly making a difference because this week there actually is a shortage of shitty games. I'm sure next week will be chalked full but week I've only got two for you.

20 July 2010

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The shitty games are in no short supply this week. Ranging from oversized rats and talking dogs to knights battling ninjas just about every base is covered this week. The only thing missing is Kanye West Rock Band and I’m pretty sure that comes out next month (autotune sold separately).

11 July 2010

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After a week off creating illegitimate children across the country in celebration of Father's Day I've returned with another batch of previews. This week has a wide variety of games that may or may not include: Farming, Cultivation, Sexual Animals, Space, Obscure Fetishes, Mud Wrestling, Prostitution, Aerobics, and Tax Evasion.

27 Jun 2010

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The river of shitty games is really flowing this week. You'll be glad to know that I saved you well over 6000 pesos this week in my crusade to cut out games meant to bleed you bank account and make room for games that are actually good. Like Streets of Rage or The Adventures of Lary. You can use the money you save to buy yourself that fancy new dress you've been eyeing up all week or just get a 6 pack and wait for next week.

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This week I'm starting a new weekly article in which I'll be previewing all the upcoming game releases of the next week. Of course I don't have the money to buy all of these games and try them so I'll be reviewing them based on what I do know, the title. They always say you can't judge a book by it's cover, but they never said anything about it's title. The goal of my reviews is to save you money because like me you probably don't have the money to waste on shitty games so af

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