I was never really into the whole arcade scene. This wasn't my choice, there just aren't any arcades around here. The ones at the mall closed before I was old enough to go in alone, and the ones downtown were all trashy drug dens. In fact the roof of Wizards 2 collapsed in 1993 and killed 2 people. However, there was one game that was everywhere - drug stores, the fair, I've even seen it in a bordello. That game? Street Fighter 2. But I've already talked about that one, so here's The Simpsons Arcade Game.

So Mr Burns and his fudge packing assistant Smithers steal a diamond, which somehow ends up getting swallowed by Maggie. Smithers kidnaps the baby, possibly to cut her open to retrieve it, or maybe he'll just wait until she shits it out, I don't know. Anyway, the rest of the family grabs a random piece of property and goes out to kick some random ass.


So you go out and fight some guys who look like Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs, only they don't cut your ear off. That was pretty gross, but what a movie. I can never decide between it and Pulp Fiction though. Anyway, you can have up to 4 people play, which is awesome if you know 3 people, but I don't. It was always me against the world, and if someone else tried to play I kicked them in the head. Like last week I saw the game at Sears, I went up to play it and chose Homer, some kid tried to join in and I was like BAM foot to the head. His mother yelled at me about being 25 and too damn old to play video games but I was just like "I'm not 25, bitch" and I kicked her in the vulva.


The game is fun, but it gets fairly repetitive. Most arcade games of this nature usually have something to brake up the monogamy, but not this one. It's just like punch punch punch for an hour, kind of boring. The music is ok, the graphics are decent, and it plays well. I recommend throwing a quarter in if you see it, it's a good time. Unless I'm playing on it, then I'll kick your fucking head.
Overall: 8/10 - Better than a threesome with Jasper and Apu
So Mr Burns and his fudge packing assistant Smithers steal a diamond, which somehow ends up getting swallowed by Maggie. Smithers kidnaps the baby, possibly to cut her open to retrieve it, or maybe he'll just wait until she shits it out, I don't know. Anyway, the rest of the family grabs a random piece of property and goes out to kick some random ass.

So you go out and fight some guys who look like Michael Madsen in Reservoir Dogs, only they don't cut your ear off. That was pretty gross, but what a movie. I can never decide between it and Pulp Fiction though. Anyway, you can have up to 4 people play, which is awesome if you know 3 people, but I don't. It was always me against the world, and if someone else tried to play I kicked them in the head. Like last week I saw the game at Sears, I went up to play it and chose Homer, some kid tried to join in and I was like BAM foot to the head. His mother yelled at me about being 25 and too damn old to play video games but I was just like "I'm not 25, bitch" and I kicked her in the vulva.

The game is fun, but it gets fairly repetitive. Most arcade games of this nature usually have something to brake up the monogamy, but not this one. It's just like punch punch punch for an hour, kind of boring. The music is ok, the graphics are decent, and it plays well. I recommend throwing a quarter in if you see it, it's a good time. Unless I'm playing on it, then I'll kick your fucking head.
Overall: 8/10 - Better than a threesome with Jasper and Apu
Comment